So I'm learning that the only one who'll never let you down, and the one that you can always trust to be consistent in personality and character, is God.

There's a tendency to build up an image of someone in your mind, only to be disappointed later when, simply by the default of imperfect human nature, they don't live up to your grand assumptions and impossible expectations.

Wish I hadn't had such expectations.

In the paraphrased words of Miss Jo March, "I wish I didn't have a heart."
Because then I wouldn't have to fight so hard to keep it safe.

Wish my feelings wouldn't go running off so easily. It's tiring to be always chasing after them to stop them. And it's so hard to stop them.

I suppose that, since energy and will are- to my observation- more finite and limited than emotions and thoughts, there will come a point when one can no longer bridle his or her waking dreams, but may only sit back and watch, helpless to stop the heart from running whichever way it pleases.

That's where, then, the infinite power of God must intervene, else the fallible human soul would soon stumble and be shattered.

Let that grace be on me.