SO MUCH TO CATCH UP ON!

Last Friday we had smth interesting happen...

Two people in our drama cast got dropped from the play because they chalked up too many strikes for missing practices. The rest of us were mortified, stressed out, fearful, very sad, because those two are really good actors, and we knew our play would near cave-in if we didn't have them. It was fair to drop them, I'm not arguing against it. There was a line that they knew was there, and they crossed it. It has happened before in past plays, and I know our director is not one to go back on his word.
But dad talked to him, and got him to at least be open to hear what the rest of us had to say.
After last Friday, I respect our team a lot more, from hearing their responses to the situation.
No one said it wasn't fair. Everyone was mature is their response, to cut it short. Mr Philip, the fair and very reasonable person that he is, eventually decided that since we'd all learned the lesson there to be learnt, he could let those 2 back in. Man, I love these people! :)

This past Wednesday were basketball tryouts. Didn't make the team.
But I can say it here, because I've come far enough in my "dealing-with-it", that it's no longer too sore a spot, or too sharp a barb. Wednesday night after seeing the list of ppl who made it, on the school website, I had about 15 minutes of emo-ness, then I thought I was over it. Turns out that yesterday, Thursday, it was even harder.
Cuz I had to face all the people who did get in.
And even though I know that none of my friends would think any less of me for not making the team, the hardest part was hearing the voice whispering in my ear, "Failure, failure. Who's the loser? You couldn't make it. You weren't good enough, you aren't good enough." I cried a few times, in sch alone. Not to mention all the times I came close to tears when I saw the people who made it in. Yeah, it was a tough day. Even some teachers noticed!

But I've had people praying for me, and dad's been helping me with it. Both as a counsellor and as a father.
Putting things in perspective:
The level of what you can achieve doesn't determine your worth. They're totally seperate things.
There were more people trying out this year than last, there were more "naturals", and there were less spots to be filled.I'm not that into basketball. It's not something I pour my life's essence into, or even spend any significant amount of time on.
It's just basketball.

So that's my latest testimony; it's been hard, painful, humiliating to my own mind, but I've drawn closer to God because of it.
Also, I know God's closing this door to me because He has better, more fulfilling, more important things for me to do. =) Now I can probably start teaching art lessons!

Today I got hair extentions down to my waist. For the play. I feel a bit more like Mulan now. X)