SO MUCH TO CATCH UP ON!

Last Friday we had smth interesting happen...

Two people in our drama cast got dropped from the play because they chalked up too many strikes for missing practices. The rest of us were mortified, stressed out, fearful, very sad, because those two are really good actors, and we knew our play would near cave-in if we didn't have them. It was fair to drop them, I'm not arguing against it. There was a line that they knew was there, and they crossed it. It has happened before in past plays, and I know our director is not one to go back on his word.
But dad talked to him, and got him to at least be open to hear what the rest of us had to say.
After last Friday, I respect our team a lot more, from hearing their responses to the situation.
No one said it wasn't fair. Everyone was mature is their response, to cut it short. Mr Philip, the fair and very reasonable person that he is, eventually decided that since we'd all learned the lesson there to be learnt, he could let those 2 back in. Man, I love these people! :)

This past Wednesday were basketball tryouts. Didn't make the team.
But I can say it here, because I've come far enough in my "dealing-with-it", that it's no longer too sore a spot, or too sharp a barb. Wednesday night after seeing the list of ppl who made it, on the school website, I had about 15 minutes of emo-ness, then I thought I was over it. Turns out that yesterday, Thursday, it was even harder.
Cuz I had to face all the people who did get in.
And even though I know that none of my friends would think any less of me for not making the team, the hardest part was hearing the voice whispering in my ear, "Failure, failure. Who's the loser? You couldn't make it. You weren't good enough, you aren't good enough." I cried a few times, in sch alone. Not to mention all the times I came close to tears when I saw the people who made it in. Yeah, it was a tough day. Even some teachers noticed!

But I've had people praying for me, and dad's been helping me with it. Both as a counsellor and as a father.
Putting things in perspective:
The level of what you can achieve doesn't determine your worth. They're totally seperate things.
There were more people trying out this year than last, there were more "naturals", and there were less spots to be filled.I'm not that into basketball. It's not something I pour my life's essence into, or even spend any significant amount of time on.
It's just basketball.

So that's my latest testimony; it's been hard, painful, humiliating to my own mind, but I've drawn closer to God because of it.
Also, I know God's closing this door to me because He has better, more fulfilling, more important things for me to do. =) Now I can probably start teaching art lessons!

Today I got hair extentions down to my waist. For the play. I feel a bit more like Mulan now. X)

RACHEL SEAH, IF YOU SEE THIS BEFORE I GET TO TALK TO YOU ON MSN, PLEASE NOTE THAT OUR PLAY HAS BEEN POSTPONED BY ONE WEEK. So you have to change your airticket. Sorry ah! Just found out. On the weekend we originally planned it, the Princess of Thailand is going to be cremated, so the authorities are not allowing any activities then. Sozzz. Pls tag if you read this.

But I don't mind it, personally. :) Gives me more time to enjoy our rehearsals. I do so love the people I work with. Today we had a pretty productive practice. It was also quite a lot more comfortable than I thought it would be. Less awkward than I anticipated. ^^^ And a lot of fun! By God's grace, I'm starting to feel that my friendship with Caleb is finally going back to what it was. Or even better, I'd say. Hallelujah. ^^

Man, I was sleepy in sch. We ended anatomy class 8 minutes early so I put my head down to rest. I thought I was still at least half-awake, and was listening out for the bell, but the next thing I knew, Lani was trying to wake me up. "ARIEL! The bell rang already dude!" I'd been out.

Dad was giving me some good ideas for what Student Council can do. Ideas like a prayer corner, or a buddy (mentor) system. Honestly, it's quite pathetic that all we're expected to do is raise funds, organize pep rallies, and the like. There's SO MUCH more we can and should do, and we're gonna do it. Prayerfully, of course. Because unless God wills it, we're gonna be working to create something that'll just fall through.

It's been a good day. Seriously, my life picks up, feels more... alive, when I'm closer to God. I love Him. I just do things better, I'm more optimistic; my words and my thoughts, my actions and my feelings are better guarded against things that could hurt me... yeah. Is it no wonder that when people drift away from God, their lives start becoming less joyful; there's a strange, uncomfortable, fidgety sense of discontentment that's there, and they (including me, as I've done before) go off in other directions, searching for what makes them happy. And when you've drifted a bit too far, then only by God's mercy will you keep your relationship with Him, because once there's that gap between you and Him, the Devil will stick his hands in the gap and try to push you further from the God that loves you and only wants what's best for you. Come back to Him. It's the best you can have.

Schooool again. =)

Took me about 2 hours (counting from when bell rang) to adjust back to being in an international environment. Same's how I took some time to go from being international to Singaporean at the beginning of my Oct break trip. It's having to change my grammar usage, vocabulary, accent, getting used to seeing a whole different type/group of people around, etc. Always an interesting feeling when I go through that transition stage. :P

Drama was great today; Laurie was... very Laurie. He's so funny like that. ^^ Keep it uppppp.
The printed drama posters also came in today. Looks good! If I can get the jpeg file I'll post it here.

I've been watching weird Japanese game show clips on youtube. Go here for a good laugh!! :D (There're many more but I'm too lazy to put all the urls up at once.)

Time to sleep. Man, I wanna use my awesome whopper of an external hard drive. Isn't 320 such a nice chunky number? ^^ Still haven't had time to use it. =( It's feeling neglected.

Tmoz, we'll be working on the LAST SCENE OF OUR PLAY. Whoooooo..... fast, man. Fast. And it's kinda an awkward scene for me... I'll try to find time to blog about what happens then. =P Nite!

My excuse (reason) for not blogging during school days is that I have work to do.

Apparently when I'm on holiday, I'm still too busy to blog neways. :p

I'm back in Bangkok now... Had a wonderful send-off at the airport after church today...
Sarah and Rachel were there, as they always are, if they can make it. (And just because you're always there doesn't mean I appreciate it any less okay? =])
I left church to go airport at around 1 pm. All the youths had been hanging out in church (plus moving boxes out of the room tt's gonna be renovated), and a bunch of them decided to go to the airport as well. I do suppose that some went because their friends were going, and/or they needed somewhere to go makan anyway, but still.
It really was sooo nice to have them there at the airport, getting to chat with them one last time before I left.

Rachel, Sarah, Jia En, Lydia, De Qi, Daphne, Qiu Fang, Ryan, Daniel, Jonathan, Yan Jun, and Alvin. =)

Some other ppl said they wanted to go but couldn't make it. Nvm, I still really appreciate the thought. ^^
Missed some of the J's that weren't there... Jeremy, James, Jason. Heheh. And quite a lot of other ppl whom I didn't get to hang out with during this short trip. Cya guys next time, yeah? :)

Courtesy of Lydia (who, unknowingly... but I guess now she'll know... showed me how to use the macro function, for the first time. Uh.. yeah. I didn't even know that was on there.)

Ryannnn, why you disappear from group photo..... = =

This morning's sermon was good... it was what I needed to hear; been feeling pretty distant from God lately. But the speaker today invited us to open up to God again, and now, after weeks of spiritual dryness, I feel like I've come back to living actively in God's grace again. =)
Interesting incident at the airport: I had a bottle of more than 100ml liquid tt I forgot to put in my luggage, and I only realized when we were abt to go through the hand-carry check. Wanting to exercise my refreshed faith, I prayed, "Dear Lord, um, I'd like to not have to throw it away.. kinda expensive.. I know that if they make me toss it, then yeah it's not a big deal, and it actually is my fault... but still, I'd rather not... I've heard of times when you blinded customs officers to things that missionaries were bringing into countries for Your work... I mean, I know this is nothing like that, but yeah..."
And the scanning-machine person didn't even see it! (And just behind me, my dad kenna his waterbottle thrown away. =P) Talk about direct answers to prayer.

Here's a brief summary of what I did the last few days (Ariel's-blog-style summary ok? Means actually quite long):

Tuesday: Went to Borders bookstore, excited to get this particular book I've been waiting for... got there, looked arnd, finally asked the information counter ppl... said dun have. X_X Haha.
From there I went out with Aarti and Kruti (2 friends who graduated from my highschool last yr and are now in SMU and Laselle.) Pasta Mania for dinner, then also visited Aarti's dorm.



Wednesday: Went, with Mom and Sarah, to our HDB apartment that we're gonna rent out. Set up the cupboards and curtains. In the evening we went to East Coast Beach for a seafood dinner with my godparents. Shiok only man! All the crab... with the huuUUuuuuuge claws, then got the cereal prawn, and otah, etc etc etc. :D

Thursday: Did some homework in the afternoon (AP World Hist, half of JCHL.... ), went to Ikea with mom to pick up furniture for the aparment (had the Swedish meatballs for dinner!), then spent a few solid hours cleaning the apt, assembling furniture, etc.

Friday: Spend the day with Sarah. Accidentally took the VERY LONG route to her house, in the morning. Sigh. = = Went to Tampines for lunch (BURGERKING! :D), went to Funan (met dad there and he bought me a 320GB external harddrive at his friend's shop. Thanks dad!), went to Brahs Basah (Tecman Christian bookstore, and Art Friend). Picked up my new glasses, then went for a talk on Conversational Evangelism. Learned a lot of useful things there.

Saturday: First part of the day, cooked with Sarah. Some fudge-biscuit thingos, as well as Thai-style mango n sticky rice. (And we brought all the food to church with us today for the other ppl to eat.)

Later, went to Orchard to meet 2 friends, David Shim and Jecolia Tong, whom I'm haven't seen in 10 years!! Our parents were all friends at church last time, but since abt P1, none of us 3 have been in contact. (After dinner and stuff around Orchard, we Guitar-Hero-ed at Jeco's house) ^^^^^ Pretty awesome. Hopefully we can hang out again then next time I'm in Sg! (Oh yeah, and bumped into Jeremy too. :))


Which brings us back to today, with it's awesome send-off and everything. I'm so touched. Humbled. =)
Plus it was funny to see you all standing out there waving and waving and waving, while we were in the queue for the passport check.

Yep, what a great day. :) This morning I went out with mom, Ah Tun (our maid), and 3 kiddos (Jana, Ben, Xin Yuan). Went to HouKang to run some errands, including make new specs for Jana and I. As usuallllllll, I took forever to choose which frames I wanted! Tried on at least 20 pairs, hahah.

Came home and did half my JCHL reading homework, and started doing the quiz that Sarah tagged me with, but before I finished, it was time to leave the house again (so I'll post the quiz tmr)~. I went out to City Hall station to meet with two friends, Valerie and Kenneth, whom I met during my 2-wk June internship. So great to see them again! :D Had dinner at some Japanese/Italian place... Japanesey pasta. Oh, Kestrel, the whole time I was at the restaurant, TVXQ! music was playing, hahahahah. Later on we had dessert at the food court, but we sat at the outside area, where there was a great view of the Sg skyline and the CBD all lit up. =) No mosquitoes too! (A rare opportunity for me, coming from Thailand.)

At the Japanese restaurant. Waiter helped us take this pic. ^^

Val always prepared each forkful of food with a sprinkling of chilli, then cheese, then that smth spice that they had in the shaker. EVERY mouthful, haha!

Kenneth had this huge bag, I still dunno what was inside it...

Can't see the city in the bg cuz of the flash, =(. Without flash, the pic would've been blurry tho.

Kenneth and Valerie, just randomly pointing.... =)

Oh, and I must mention what happened on the MRT when I was going to City Hall. Nothing big or monumental, but anyway, I saw this guy, might've been Japanese or Korean or smth, dressed somewhat in the typical J-/K-pop clothes, with an emo-ish hairstyle, and very insecure body language. The first time I saw him, I just thought, "Oh hey, look, J-pop clothes." But a minute or so later, I started to feel more like, "=S He's one of those 'cool on the outside, hiding a lot on the inside' people." This whole time his back was to me, tho, he was leaning against the corner of the wall with his head down. And then at one point when he turned just enough so that I could see part of his face, a wave of sadness hit me.

He was around 18 or 19, I'd guess, with a slight frame and nice facial features... the typical bishouen ("bishie")? But the pain, the silent fear in his eyes, the emptiness I could sense coming off of him, that just seemed to fill his whole being... and he looked so lost, like a 3 year old kid. Scared, and trying to cover it up with clothes and accessories that would be accepted as "cool". You could see that he's been trying to improve his life, fill the gap, by buying into the comforts that the world had held out to him, but it was just making him feel more and more lost. I'm not a softie, you know that, but today when I saw that guy, I could've just cried right there in the MRT.

I don't often have these experiences, but on the few times when I have (especially today), it's made me realize the magnitude of our duty and our call as Christians. I think God let me experience this today to give me a bit of an idea of the ache He feels for His lost people. I wanted so bad to go up to that guy and take away whatever pain he was holding, see him freed from whatever was weighing down so heavily on him. And you know like when in Matthew 23:37 it says God longs to gather us up like a hen gathers her chicks? It was like that. I wanted to go up to him, give him a hug, and let God's love just touch and heal him 100%.

I don't know who he is, but today was something special, and I'm gonna pray for that guy. As complete strangers now, I wouldn't die for him, but God knows him and loves him so much that God came down and made that sacrifice, longing for their relationship to be restored, so that he won't have to be hurting anymore. I'll pray that even though I may never cross paths with that guy again, his life will take a radical turn at some point, and that awful, oppressive misery I saw today will be gone.

I'M BACK!

Back to blogging, back to Singapore. Oh blessed holidays~! ^^

I've been gone a loong loooong time... no, not meaning all this time on that church camp that I mentioned in my last post. Just been way too busy with school and drama and SC. And during what free time I had, I was too tired to put together a coherent blog entry.

But finally, here I am, and I just wanna note 2 things that have happened, so next time I can read this post and rmb.

-Basketball/sleepover with Joanna, RA, and Becky~
-(14th Oct '08) Drama prac ended early, had a good chat with *. :)

Right now I'm in Singapore~~~~ We arrived on Saturday night, after I took the PSAT back in school on Sat morning. Stayed over at the Seahs' house... had an awesome time (as always!), chatting and catching up, being stupid, being serious, youtube-ing...

ah, and then I realized that I'd forgotten to pack my sleeping clothes. I mean, not just to the Seahs' place. I mean that I completely forgot to bring sleeping clothes with me from Bangkok to Sg. Yup, that's right. ALL HAIL THE SOTONG QUEEN!

But as it goes, with such good friends, retarded things that one does only serve to provide laughter and a chance to strengthen friendship, as one humbly, contritely begs to borrow clothes, and the friends extend a much-needed, but undeserved hand of grace. And let one rummage through their wardrobe.

Today, I had a FANTASTIC Sunday with a bunch of crazy church ppl. ^^^^^ It was really really nice to see everyone again, esp with all the smiles, the "HI-IIIIII"s, and "HEY, you're back!"s. ^^ Had Poiema cell groups, then their music lessons, then badminton, then some of us went to Tampines and hung out at the food court. Laughed until it hurt, and made noise until some old person on his/her (yeah, we couldn't decide if it was a man or a woman) way out, told us that our (laughing) volume level was inappropriate. :P Oooops, really didn't mean to. ^^'

And other stuff, and other stuff. There're a lot of people who contributed to my day, and they're too many to name. But to all of you who did (and even if you think you didn't you probably did in some way or other tt you don't realize), I thank you for an awesome day!! =D

Tiong Wei ah :), I know you're reading this, and I already said it to you in church, but I'm just gonna mention this here so other ppl can see, and so I don't forget it, hahah:
TW, one of the Poiemians at ASE, brought 2 friends with him to church today (and another one last week, so I heard?). He himself just recently accepted Christ, and it's so inspiring to see him active in reaching out to others. Embarassing too, because we long-time-already Christians are hardly that active. We're too passive, too lazy, too afraid, too daunted, too busy, too.... whatever. Oh, for, shame. We can't rely on missionaries, pastors, and the like, to spread the word. It WE who have to go out there and take responsibility. STOP, think about it. Take it seriously.

So, Tiong! Don't ever become like that, don't get complacent, don't let this passion for Christ that you have now get worn down and bridled by time. Be... like Joel. Who invited you to church in the first place. ^^

Ok now, time to sleep. And it's gonna be another great day tomorrow. :)

It's been a tiring week, and though today was just as (or even more) tiring than the past few days, it was still a really good one. =) Some reasons shall not be stated here (ahahaha), but I'm just writing this bit here so that some time in the far future when I come back and read my old blog posts, I'll remember today.

(Just for myself: [-Swapped chapel day-] ^^)

Tomorrow after school, we're going on a church camp at the beach. It'll be nice to get away and let my brain recuperate. I feel like it's been fried by all the tests and everything else I've had. Oh, but you know what? Somehow, really, it's true that when we are weak, God is strong. Today I was feeling like X_@ when I went in to school. During devotions, Mrs Lisa prayed that "may all that we do today honor and glorify You." And I was thinking like, Man, I'm so not-with-it today, I dunno how I'm gonna be a regularly functioning person... all the more someone who's a good friend and through whom God can shine. But, very surprisingly, today it seemed like I was able to talk to, relate to, be friendly, and be friends with more people than I usually do. I guess when our human strength is faded, that's when God's power can really kick in. =)

I'm kinda losing my voice now, from yelling so much in drama class, because today we did the scene where Jo gets mad at Amy. Poor Rissa, had to get shaken and whacked so many times. :P

I've made probably around or over 30000 neopoints for Jana in the last few days! :D Lolll.

Okayz, I'm about to unceremoniously fall asleep here at the desk, so I'd better go. Ciao~